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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
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In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
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Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
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Everything that can be invented has been invented.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
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Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
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A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
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To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
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It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
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No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
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C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
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In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
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It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
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I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
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There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
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It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
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Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
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You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
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Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
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Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
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Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
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Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
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The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
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We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/24/(Tue) 17:18
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